Let Love Guide

  Saw new oncologist and really like her. Recommendation is surgery. She will present my case to tumor board to see if they think radiation is needed. She will have a colorectal surgeon in the operating room with her. The tumor is low and may require a resection of my bowels and/or ostomy. Once she has his schedule will call to schedule. This week, I am really focused on joining in Gods good work. I hear Him asking me to let go of myself and de-center my will in order to participate in His (good and perfect) will. But this process is H A R D. I feel empty and exposed and not myself. The distractions that once gave me respite no longer appeal. Nothing in this world SATISFIES. My spiritual heart knows there is no rest or joy or solace outside of God. He alone can satisfy. But my human heart beats about, desperate for earthly joy. Never before have I more truly felt, this is not our home. I think I’m homesick. Not in a pity, sad or angry sort or way, but as a spiritual being having a ...

My ovarian cancer is back. I see my oncologist next Tuesday and will learn next steps. I am grateful to God - the great revealer and healer. I am sad, really sad, but also hopeful. God is really using this year to reveal, not only the brokenness of the world and our tender, fragile hearts, but also to show His power, grace and love. The shaking is difficult, but I know there is fruit. Grateful to God, for our family and friends who are family, and for the hope of heaven

  GOD morning. Thank you for your love and prayers. Headed to hospital for CT biopsy covered in the prayers of the saints. I love each of you and carry your heart in mine. I love God - all my hope is in Him. Strength for today, and BRIGHT HOPE for tomorrow UPDATE: Arrived home at 1PM and have been so well. God has been in every moment of this day. When I arrived at hospital the nurse let me know I was in the "Scan-and-See" bucket. There was no guarantee once I got in the OR the procedure would take place. I just said in my heart, "But God . . . " Had the most precious team of believers and we affirmed God's goodness, grace and love. The radiology doctor was able to access the tumor (YAY!) Results in 3-5 business days and follow-up with my new oncologist October 27. All to Jesus, I surrender. I pray in all ways to bring Him the glory. Been praying the song of Mary, Luke 1:47-50, My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has been ...

  Filed under, His Mysterious Ways For the past three days I haven’t been able to keep food down. Yesterday, at the behest of my primary doctor, I went to Emory JC to rule out gall stones. Bloodwork and ultrasound showed nothing acute. It was 7PM and I was ready to go home, but my nurse suggested I get a CT. I really wanted to say no, but a tiny voice in the back of my head was like, “Do it girl.” The scan showed a growth we’ve been watching last year in my descending colon got busy and decided to grow. When I logged into my portal to compare the growth I saw a message saying my November appointment with my GYN ONC was canceled because she’s leaving the practice. This morning I called to reschedule (and PRAYED) and they had an opening at Emory St. Joes for 11am with my doctor. She’s very pragmatic, reserved and thoughtful. We have been watching this little growth that could for 10 months and she’s never been concerned. Today was different. She wants the growth to be biopsied. She f...