It Is Well
I get daily emails from A.W. Tozer >>well, from someone who's keeping his writing and thoughts alive<< and there was one last week that floored me.
The verse is from Ecclesiastes 3:11. The first part is one we've all heard, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." But the "b" part of this verse. "
Also, He has put eternity in their hearts."
Added as almost an aside, and yet this is possibly the most profound teaching I've gleaned from the Bible. God loves us SO much, He has shared his everlastingness - put it in our heart.
When I was five years old, I became aware of the concept of eternity >>and it REALLY freaked me out<< I spent nights and days thinking, "forever, and forever, and forever, and forever ..." until I had full-on panic attacks.
Reading this verse all these years later, I understand God has put a longing for immortality in us and this longing - meant to push us towards God, LOVE and heaven - has instead been blinded by our sin, causing us to seek comfort on earth. Let Tozer explain:
Men and women need to be told plainly, and again and again, why they are disturbed and why they are upset. They need to be told why they are lost and that if they will not repent they will certainly perish. Doctors and counselors will tell troubled men and women that their problems are psychological, but it is something deeper within the human being that troubles and upsets—it is the longing after eternity Christ the Eternal Son.
There is so much commotion, emotion, activity and noise in my daily life, it too often drowns out that longing.
This summer I had my annual summer depression >>I know, why summer?<< I've always been prone to melancholy and have actually embraced it in my later life, rather than shoving it down and painting on a smile. I use it as a time of reflection and growth, a time set aside to contemplate, listen and be.
This summer I practiced really centering on God - going to Him with EVERYTHING - listening to His voice - feeling His heart - being moved by the sound of His voice.
The word brought to my mind from God has been WONDER. This world is so dark and murky. I'm heartbroken by it in some way daily and it's so easy to forget that above, below and within - surrounding us - is the beauty of God. He is beautiful, more than our minds could ever imagine or believe. I want child-like-pure-uncorrupted-garden-of-Eden-WONDER. God is GOD, but He also wants to be our sweetest friend. Our confidante. The love of this life >>> and the life to come<<<
As I was reading this summer I came across this quote: The deeper our faith, the more doubt we must endure; the deeper our hope, the more prone we are to despair; the deeper our love, the more pain its loss will bring: these are a few of the paradoxes we must hold as human beings. If we refuse to hold them in hopes of living without doubt, despair, and pain, we also find ourselves living without faith, hope, and love. - Parker Palmer
Life is hard, but OH so BEAUTIFUL. When I reflect on all my hardships >>>being disabled, having migraines for 20 years, ovarian cancer<<< if I had it all to do again, I would not change one moment. Through it all, my faith has been strengthened. Do I love EVERY moment - NO WAY!
A week ago Saturday I was literally rolling around on my bathroom floor, in the midst of a week-long migraine that had crescendoed to the point I was praying blessings over my children, sure I was about to die from the pain. As I lay on the floor, I began crying out to God, begging him to see me, to save me, to show Himself. I needed His beauty. And in the midst of my prayers, I began to see rays of beautiful light - purple and white rays of light - shining on me. A peace washed over my body and I was wrecked. God, who has everything in the world to do, saw me.
That's the beauty of Christ. I've cried, screamed, pled, bartered, begged and wrestled with bouts of depression, but God is always there. He is patient in my process and waits on me to lift up my eyes. To focus my eyes on Him. Through deep prayer, withdrawal into Him and study, my heart has learned to truly say, "It is well with my soul."
I've been obsessing about this song by Kristene DiMarco {it's pretty much been my summer jam - on repeat} POWERFUL - and the song of my heart.
Living isn't for wimps. I'm so lucky to have love - from God, my amazing husband and children, my church and some amazing, dear-heart-tried-and-true-friends.
I pray the same for you. May you know the love of our GREAT God, who has shared His everlastingness with us. He loves you.
If I can pray for you, please let me know - you are loved ♥
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