How to Make Chocolate Milk {and other things to teach your Senior}

Our oldest son, Noah, is a Senior in High School. I remember holding him on his third day of life, singing this lullaby

And I'll love you forever, forever my baby you'll be
And I'll love you forever. Forever and ever my baby you'll be.

Sweet, right? {but then, the 2nd verse ...}

I want you to know, wherever you go, should life find us miles apart.
I'll always care and always be there, 'cause Mama's love lives in the heart.

Wait, WHAT? Someday this baby, whom I love with ALL I am, is going to LEAVE? I immediately started bawling and my mother, who was in town helping us adjust to parenthood, began crying, as well, saying, "That's what happens. You love your child so much and then they grow up and leave."

It was a scene, to say the least. I remember laughing through tears, telling Mom she couldn't cry and breakdown - she was supposed to be the strong one in the midst of my postpartum craziness. I thought, for a moment, we might need to draft a great-grandmother to take care of all of us. We were in a state.

Fortunately, since that moment, God has allowed me to see His plan for each of us. Yes it's true. We all grow up and leave. His plan is for us to grow up and mature, not only in years but in our spiritual growth. And I've been able to embrace the joy in watching Noah grow from a baby to the young man who stands before us.

Not to say I don't sometimes breakdown and cry, but it's at odd moments. Like in the middle of a preview for Disney's Monkey Kingdom when a baby monkey runs into the arms of its mother, and narrator Tina Fey says, "I bet the mother wishes she could freeze this moment in time and hold her baby forever." Um, NO THANK YOU, Disney. {tears!!!} Or when I was posting a pic of Noah in his senior picture tuxedo, listening to Be Still, by The Fray. It comes in unexpected moments, but overall I'm excited for this next journey. I see God's hand in our life, on Noah's life - and it comforts me. Above all Noah belongs to God and God is always and forever FOR Noah.

I've truly LOVED every stage of motherhood. All I ever wanted was to be a mother. I remember as a young girl, stuffing my belly, pretending to be pregnant - probably to the alarm of my father and mother. I often helped my grandmother in the nursery of her country church and shared her love of babies and little ones.

Then, at the age of six, while a patient at the Shriner's Hospital, a room full of doctors evaluating my disability and life prognosis told me there was a 50/50 chance of passing on my disability to children and it was their advisement I never have children. Fortunately, I was a stubborn child with a furious heart and my spirit bristled. I thought to myself, "I will have children and I don't care what these doctors say. God is GOD and He can do a miracle." 

And, on June 8, 1998 my first miracle arrived. Our beautiful, amazing soul - Noah Andrew. At his birth I sobbed uncontrollably - the love, deep love, I had for him already was overwhelming. The long-awaited promise from God had arrived. The child doctors advised against was in my arms, in our lives and it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.

Those first few weeks of motherhood I was giddy - every moment was like Christmas. I couldn't sleep or rest - all I wanted was to hold Noah, play with him, see him smile and listen to his sweet coos. He was so good-natured and easy. Everywhere we went he had a smile - for friends and strangers alike. Everything he did made me proud.

As a toddler he was curious, but also cautious - quick to love and protect. In his 3-year-old Preschool, Ms. Cynthia's class, he was the friend and defender of "Ms. Cynthia's ghulls {girls}" when 3-year-old bullies Henry and Ford would push them down. I can still see him helping the girls up, brushing them off and touching their cheek, asking if they were okay. He was a young gentleman and tender-heart - and he remains that way to this day.

After Preschool the years began to fly - Kindergarten, a new home, a new brother {the wild viking/ninja, Elijah, whom I've written about before}. Suddenly Noah was nine years old. I remember the night of his ninth birthday, I broke into a panic. We were suddenly half-way to adulthood and I felt unprepared. What was my plan? There was still so much to teach Noah. I realized I didn't have a plan. MY plan was - let's have a baby! I called my paternal grandmother, crying, telling her the stress I was feeling and asked her how she'd raised three contributing members of society. And here is what she said - "Honey, we're all fools. No one knows what they're doing. You just love your children, pray for them and give them to the Lord." Hearing the wisest woman I've EVER know say that was so comforting. She was right - none of us really know what we're doing. We just do our best.

Ever Striving - this has become my new motto and one I've shared with my family and friends. There's no way any of us can be perfect, but we can ever-strive towards perfection - towards being more like Christ - having His heart, His grace, His mercy, His compassion - and His LOVE. Love that begins in the home and then goes out.

A few weeks ago we were watching The Middle and Mike Heck was stressing about Sue going off to college soon. Although he wouldn't admit that was the motive driving his crazy, it was evident. In every free moment he was teaching her how to balance a checkbook, change a flat tire, the life-and-death importance of an ice scraper. He was acting REAL CrAzY - and I totally related.

In our family, we've had three main expectations for our children - we want our sons to:

1. love, listen-to and KNOW God - to be His Children and serve Him by living the life He created JUST for them.


2. To be kind and have good manners.


3. To give their VERY best in all they do.

These three, above all, has been our family creed. Now that Noah will soon leave for college, I find myself thinking of other, more practical things I need to teach him, like ...

1. how to properly stir chocolate milk. It's come to my attention his chocolate milk is a bit chunky due to improper stirring technique. This will be my #1 focus {we've got 10 months} :-)


2. how to balance a checkbook. He knows how to spend, but we also want him to know how to save {as a young student he will soon find out how quickly money goes - and how important it is to know precisely how much money - to the penny - he has}


3. car maintenance - the importance of oil changes and tire rotations, etc.


4. laundry - wash your linens and clothes {and make your bed} <--- fortunately he's always made his bed so {check!} on that part


5. how to scrub a bathroom until it shines {at least one man will need to have this skill in his communal college living situation or else the CDC may need to intervene} <--- I'm still scarred from the bathroom situation of the guys from my college days


6. how to negotiate. I've always stressed to Noah how important it is to know he has a voice and what he thinks and has to say is important. Since he's SO nice {seriously, the nicest} he is sometimes taken advantage of {like when the pizza guy put everything on their pepperoni pizza - when Noah pointed out they just wanted pepperoni, the guy ripped off the topping, closed the lid and handed it back with hand outstretched for $$} When Noah got home and told us that story, we were LIVID. I asked him if he got a free pizza or some breadsticks {or something} for their mistake and he said no. Then he witnessed the "art" of negotiation as Scott called up the pizza place and basically negotiated free pizza for life.


7. how to cook. Fortunately Noah's dad is a great cook, so he should be great in this department {check!}


8. don't be afraid to fail. Noah is cautious and wise {which is GREAT}. But I want him to know college is a time to push boundaries and challenge himself {safely and wisely} in new ways.


9. know he can ALWAYS come home.

Above all, I want Noah to know these words from my heart:

No matter how high I have to look up to you, you will always be mine.
I can still wipe your tears and listen to your heart.
Know {and believe} you are loved deeply by your parents.
But even more than we love you, you are loved by a God who sent His son for you.

This life might bring great joy or sorrow, wealth or loss,
but you can make it because you have love. Be sure and give it away. 

You are strong. You are brave. You are smart. You are funny {so funny}.
You are kind. You are handsome. You amaze me.
You will be a great husband one day. You will be a great father one day.
I am always here for you. I will always love you, no matter what.

You can always come home.

You are a success if you love God and love others.