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A Thrill of HOPE

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I am so grateful for beautiful life (and that my birthday falls within Advent). The candles of HOPE and PEACE are now lit, on the wreath, and in my heart. The lectionary had an obscure (not-seemingly-super-Adventy) scripture from Luke 21:25-33 (AMP) the first Sunday. The sky is literally falling, but God, in holy mystery, reminds the end isn't the end. The Return of Christ: “There will be signs (attesting miracles) in the sun and moon and stars; and on the earth [there will be] distress and anguish among nations, in perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea and the waves, people fainting from fear and expectation of the [dreadful] things coming on the world; for the [very] powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with [transcendent, overwhelming] power [subduing the nations] and with great glory. Now when these things begin to occur, stand tall and lift up your heads [in joy], because [suffering ends as] your redemption is dra
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All for Love

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Got to celebrate my favorite November birthdays. Mama turned 70 Saturday and we had a small family pizza party. Afterward Scott and I pulled out her Christmas decorations and added some lights and festiveness to the home. Tuesday we celebrated the love of my life - Scott. We enjoyed dinner and showering him with gifts. This week we also got to gather as a family to celebrate Elijah's HS graduation ceremony at Lanier Tech (postponed twice due to COVID). Monday's ceremony was so glorious and inspirational. There were mothers and daughters, brothers and sisters, old and young who walked the stage. The mayor of Auburn spoke and her life story took my breath away. She is the epitome of "But God ..." She spoke with Elijah afterward and encouraged him in his next steps. We continue to see and feel God's hand in every moment of our story. A devotion I read said the purpose of every test is to take us higher. While it's hard to be continually pressed and refined, love
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Under the Shadow

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When I remember You on my bed, I meditate and thoughtfully focus on You in the night watches. For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings [where I am always protected] I sing for joy. My soul [my life, my very self] clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:6-8)  This past year, I've learned complete surrender to God and His will. He is sovereign and His plans are greater than we could hope or imagine. I've also accepted His plan rarely looks as we would write or even desire. But I trust His heart, His plan, and His great love for my family.  Mama has received news her triple negative breast cancer has returned and metastasized. She will begin chemotherapy tomorrow (Thursday, October 21). They will image her after two months to see if it's helping slow disease progression. It's not a cure, just palliative. Her oncologist said it's expected to extend her life by 7-12 months.  But God ...  Even though we are devastated and weary, we are not w
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Love Endures All Things

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Hello sweet friends. Just a quick update to let you know our family is well. We were saddened by my father's unexpected passing, but not overcome. Though we were surprised, Sovereign God knew when daddy would take his last breath from the moment he was knit in his mother's womb.  I have peace he was not alone. From my time near the veil, I know Jesus' forehead was pressed against my daddy's and He ushered him through the shadow into heaven. The night he fell ill, I was driving through the night, praying part of Psalm 23  Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort and console me.  At 4:20am I looked at the clock, noted the time, and knew daddy was with the Lord. My mom called at that moment to confirm what the Holy Spirit had already told me. When I arrived at my parent's home, I told her I was praying these specific words from Psalm 23 and she said she had gone to her Bible, fra
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His Very Heart

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“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”  Our Parish is studying this verse. The week our study began, a radio program, several devotions, and a book I'm reading - all spoke on Matt 11:28-30. Love how God speaks!  In "Gentle and Lowly," Dane Ortlund writes this is the one place Jesus tells us of His own heart. His very heart is gentle (His posture towards His own isn't a pointed finger, but open arms); lowly (He's accessible - all He wants and needs is our open heart.) “He can't un-gentle Himself toward His own, any more than you or I can change our eye color. It's who we are." D. Ortlund  God has been drawing me closer to His heart, taking my burdens and replacing them with his yoke (which is actually a non-yoke; an un-burdening). This year, I've
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Flourish Here, Even Here

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  I found peace in the chaos I found peace in suffering And I found peace in confusion I found peace inside of me I can finally breathe again 'Cause I found You in the river I found You in suffering And I found You on the mountain You were always around me Anna Golden - Peace Hello friends. It's been a moment since I shared what the Lord is doing. Honestly, it's been a lot to process and I've been giving God space to sort my heart and emotions. My moments of life have not been instagrammable and I've struggled to share. I am in a new season of refreshment, nourishment, and rest. On Friday, July 9, I stepped away from my job. Cancer and chemo and prolonged pandemic reordered my life. And it’s hard and not what I planned or envisioned. There was a high cost. But I am not less than. I am just changed. I'm learning there is peace in surrender. After 47 years of controlling my narrative and wrestling with God, I'm learning full surrender. These last months have b
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The Beginning of My After Story

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He has not despised my cries of deep despair. He’s my first responder to my sufferings, and when I was in pain, he was there all the time and heard the cries of the afflicted. Psalm 22:24 Hello sweet friends. It's been a long month with a lot of life. I longed to write an update, but I've been very sideways and just gave God time to sort out my emotions, heal my heart, and give me His words to share. The days after chemo proved to be my hardest yet. I was really shocked at how weak I was. I was unable to sit upright and felt fatigued to the point of death. I thought processing throughout my journey would spare me grief at the end, but there's no shortcuts with trauma. There's no moving on from deep loss, only moving through it. This past month I've barely recognized myself and grieved deeply. My body has stored all the trauma - not just from chemo - but from a lifetime of striving, persevering, proving. For 40+ years I lived as if I had no limitations and that vers
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