Let Love Guide

  Saw my oncology team today and the recommendation is chemo. I was not prepared for that. During these 11 years, my experience with my oncologists has ALWAYS been, “let’s monitor and see what happens.” However, given my recurrence happened faster, my new team feels it’s critical to do more. I can truly say God has gone before. I A D O R E and T R U S T the Emory team of doctors and nurses. They have examined my tumor profile, consulted with the tumor board, and consulted with me. I feel heard and so very cared for. Chemo will start in January. It’s six rounds of Carbo-Taxol. I can do my infusions locally and go to Emory St. Joseph’s for labs and to see my team. And of course, being a Southerner, I’ve already made a plan for my hair loss (buzz cut January 12) and already have a RX for a wig. To quote Dolly Parton from Steele Magnolias, “There’s no such thing as natural beauty.” I truly felt the presence and love of God in the room and the kindness and love of my team and I am so gr...

  Thank you - everyone - for all the sweet birthday wishes. God has truly given me more than I could hope or imagine! To Him goes all glory, honor, and praise! Yesterday I got fancy to FaceTime my parents. But after the call my body was like, “no thank you!” So it was back in jammies, back to bed (with a Zofran chaser) Among my greatest blessings is my amazing husband, Scott. Fairy tales are great, but a real love that selflessly serves and loves in sickness and in health is a new level of swoon-worthy. I always joke Scott got a wife with no warranty. I was, of course, already disabled when we married 18 years ago and two years ago moved full-time into a wheelchair. Seven years in I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and went through two surgeries, one of which was a radical hysterectomy, putting me into instant menopause. What followed was a deep two year depression. I was functioning so the outside world might not know, but Scott witnessed the deep and crushing lows and loved me ...

  The Lord has done great miracles! Yes, He did mighty miracles and we are overjoyed!” Psalms‬ ‭126:3‬ Friends, I’m overjoyed to share my surgery was simple and I am home, feeling so well and so grateful. The tumor was adhered to my abdomen wall and came out with ease. We are praising God for His great mercy. I was Sleeping Beauty because anesthesia used ALL the hard drugs. My oncologist said they had to proceed as if surgery would be complex. I spent the night at hospital because I was in rough shape post surgery. Tumor board will discuss my case and I’ll hear their recommendation at follow up appointment December 17. I’m home and sore but overjoyed. Thank you for all the prayers and love. You are sustaining us and we are humbled and grateful. Overwhelmed by the goodness of our GREAT God. To Him goes all glory and praise! Angel Painting is by my beautiful friend, Lisa - entitled “Amy’s Angel.” (love you, Lisa)

  The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. In green pastures He makes me lie down. He restores my soul and leads me on for His GREAT name. Surely goodness, surely mercy, right beside me all my days. And I will dwell in Your house forever and bless Your Holy Name. You prepare a table right before me, in the presence of my enemies. Though the arrow flies and the terror of night is at my door, I'll trust you Lord. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, You are on my side. Psalm 23 Thank you - everyone - for bearing our burden. We feel every prayer. We feel so rich in God, in His love and mercy, in our body of friends and family, and in the hope, joy, peace and love of Advent. Even in my anxiousness I have GREAT HOPE. I have walked with the Lord for 40 years and have always heard His voice, felt His presence and trusted His heart. I pray I bring Him glory in my suffering. My beautiful sister friend, Sandy, wrote it so eloquently, “help Amy to continue to show ot...

  Thank you for your prayers. You are truly sustaining us and we are so grateful. Surgery is Wednesday, December 2. I have begun my shelter in place to stay healthy. Scott gifted me today by hanging some of my favorite things. We started with the wall above our bed and fanned out into other rooms. So grateful for the home God has given us and look forward to healing surrounded by these reminders of my earthly home and hints of our heavenly home. I am learning so much about God and myself in this time. And I’m grateful for each lesson learned. I’ve learned joy and pain can coexist. And, in all that is heavy, there is HOPE. My word for 2020 was remember, but in the last few months I’ve added Revelation. God is revealing Himself to us. And in the light of that revelation, He reveals areas in our heart and character that need more of Him. Just as He was kind to reveal my cancer, it is His loving kindness and mercy that reveals our hearts and where we stand with Him. In prayer a few wee...

  Saw new oncologist and really like her. Recommendation is surgery. She will present my case to tumor board to see if they think radiation is needed. She will have a colorectal surgeon in the operating room with her. The tumor is low and may require a resection of my bowels and/or ostomy. Once she has his schedule will call to schedule. This week, I am really focused on joining in Gods good work. I hear Him asking me to let go of myself and de-center my will in order to participate in His (good and perfect) will. But this process is H A R D. I feel empty and exposed and not myself. The distractions that once gave me respite no longer appeal. Nothing in this world SATISFIES. My spiritual heart knows there is no rest or joy or solace outside of God. He alone can satisfy. But my human heart beats about, desperate for earthly joy. Never before have I more truly felt, this is not our home. I think I’m homesick. Not in a pity, sad or angry sort or way, but as a spiritual being having a ...

My ovarian cancer is back. I see my oncologist next Tuesday and will learn next steps. I am grateful to God - the great revealer and healer. I am sad, really sad, but also hopeful. God is really using this year to reveal, not only the brokenness of the world and our tender, fragile hearts, but also to show His power, grace and love. The shaking is difficult, but I know there is fruit. Grateful to God, for our family and friends who are family, and for the hope of heaven

  GOD morning. Thank you for your love and prayers. Headed to hospital for CT biopsy covered in the prayers of the saints. I love each of you and carry your heart in mine. I love God - all my hope is in Him. Strength for today, and BRIGHT HOPE for tomorrow UPDATE: Arrived home at 1PM and have been so well. God has been in every moment of this day. When I arrived at hospital the nurse let me know I was in the "Scan-and-See" bucket. There was no guarantee once I got in the OR the procedure would take place. I just said in my heart, "But God . . . " Had the most precious team of believers and we affirmed God's goodness, grace and love. The radiology doctor was able to access the tumor (YAY!) Results in 3-5 business days and follow-up with my new oncologist October 27. All to Jesus, I surrender. I pray in all ways to bring Him the glory. Been praying the song of Mary, Luke 1:47-50, My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has been ...

  Filed under, His Mysterious Ways For the past three days I haven’t been able to keep food down. Yesterday, at the behest of my primary doctor, I went to Emory JC to rule out gall stones. Bloodwork and ultrasound showed nothing acute. It was 7PM and I was ready to go home, but my nurse suggested I get a CT. I really wanted to say no, but a tiny voice in the back of my head was like, “Do it girl.” The scan showed a growth we’ve been watching last year in my descending colon got busy and decided to grow. When I logged into my portal to compare the growth I saw a message saying my November appointment with my GYN ONC was canceled because she’s leaving the practice. This morning I called to reschedule (and PRAYED) and they had an opening at Emory St. Joes for 11am with my doctor. She’s very pragmatic, reserved and thoughtful. We have been watching this little growth that could for 10 months and she’s never been concerned. Today was different. She wants the growth to be biopsied. She f...

“God is greater than our ups and downs.” That’s the message on the bracelet included in these photos and has been the overriding message of hope God has been repeating to my heart these last two years, and especially these last few days. I’ve been struggling - emotionally - with the heaviness of our world. These last few days I’ve spent a lot of time in prayer and in tears. I feel God is helping me process what’s been lost so He can level me up for what’s to be gained. For me, this pandemic has helped me become more like Paul - more heaven-minded than earth. I feel a greater purpose in my quiet time, my prayer time, in conversations with family, friends and neighbors. While I know so many of us are ready to get back to normal, I pray we don’t. My normal included busyness, self-focus, hurried Bible study and quick prayers. My new normal has the gift of presence, prayer, Bible study and a renewed relationship with God, my husband, sons and dear friends. My new normal has a BURDEN for oth...

  “Look at all the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they?" Matthew 6:26 Sunday morning, Scott and I heard a sweet bird singing. We found a mama bird had entrusted her babies to the care of a nest built inside the wreath on our front door. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE birds. I inherited a love of birds from my grandmother, Louise. I love their beauty, their songs, and their simple trust in God. Nature is modeling its trust in God - in the birth of baby animals, the bloom of flowers and trees, and the sun and moon as they rise and fall. When this pandemic first began, I wasn't worried. But as the weeks went on, small moments of dread began to invade my heart and weighed heavily. On good days, I have a routine - praise and worship, work, feed our family, drink ALL the coffee. But some days, I take my eyes off G...

My grandmother, Mary Louise Sentelle rang in the New Year with Jesus. She is TRULY JOYFUL because of the triumph Jesus won over sin and death. When you have faith in God, you become keenly aware of God’s presence – an awareness there is more to life than what we can see, touch, hear and smell. Faith is confidence God is good and can be trusted. It is trusting God will give us what we need to grow in God’s purpose for our lives, even when we don’t understand His purpose. My grandmother exemplified this faith. Faith is believing God has a unique design for our lives and, God’s love enables us to let go of things that prevent us from realizing our full potential and purpose as God’s sons and daughters. It’s been said God has no grandchildren. He only has children. As a parent, this is a profoundly comforting thought. It means the spiritual inheritance our children receive is God’s to give, not ours. As we pray with them and for them, as we go to worship with them and as we set an example ...