Light and Momentary
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
Friday March 18 my mom made the brave decision to lay down her battle with cancer and agreed to hospice.
Though her spirit to fight is as strong as ever, her body is no longer cooperating.
Living slowly has many joys and beautiful moments. It’s also weary work - in the service and the waiting and the mundane and the holy.
God has blessed us with two amazing angel nurses - Neesie and Carla - who are now forever family. They are alternately living with us and joining in the holy work of serving mama.
I feel myself taking so many Mary photos; taking in each moment and storing it away in my heart to ponder.
Late night talks about heaven; Mama at the piano Sunday playing and singing hymns. The morning she sang Sandy Pattis “We Shall Behold Him” and her countenance was radiant; sharing the love story of her and daddy; going through my maternal grandmothers jewelry and hearing stories about each piece.
Heaven is so near. And there is so much beauty in each day. I am in awe of the strength of my mother. Her life daily reflects God and He is helping her lay it down.
We are so aware of our deep need - bigger than any human could ever fill. Only God can sort our troubled, weary hearts and keep our deep peace.
The past 18 months God has called me to release all expectations. It’s a strange way to live and requires moment by moment dependence on God.
He gave me an image of receiving daily bread. It’s not a whole loaf that downloads at midnight for us to use as we will. He gave me a vision of ducks who swim up for a morsel of bread, and then come back for a little more.
God is teaching me to let go of all my expectations and instead be expectant what He will do.
Grateful for all God has taught us - grateful for all He continues to teach as He calls us to deeper trust. It’s hard and holy work. It’s not easy being made like Christ.
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