The Presence of God

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'"

This verse was prayed by mama every night. In the last days, she felt Him holding her.

God answered our every prayer. I’m still reflecting on all God has done. Even in grief, His goodness is unfailing. The years of suffering produced peace, deeper trust, stillness, and abiding.

The night mama went on hospice, I had a vision. God played back all the events from the last few years. As the Lord played back all the suffering, I was overcome with gratitude. All these events trained and prepared me for the months to follow. The lessons God taught allowed me to walk alongside mama in the way of the Lord. I testified to the heart and character of God, while empathizing with the deep suffering and battle she was enduring.

And, God gave me so many Barnabas' to encourage along the way - family, friends, church family, and two amazing live-in nurses, Denise and Carla. To be transparent, this journey was not easy. I was often overcome, exhausted, VERY weepy, and experienced moments of deep despair.

Still, I testify God hears your every prayer - those spoken, cried, whispered, groaned. Your spirit and the Holy Spirit are in constant communication and God showed His faithfulness in so many ways. The night mama was discharged from hospital in March, I spent the night crying to the Lord. I had no earthly solution and every plan we made crumbled. One of mama's dear friends saw our plight and reached out to her bestie - Denise, a hospice nurse - who came like Mary Poppins one day later and lived with us through the end and beyond.

And when she had to return home and was unexpectedly delayed, God provided Carla through my bestie. Time and again God met our every need. These three months we have been called to deeper trust and I want to testify - it is so hard, but it is best.

I have learned to yearn not for the absence of problems, but for the presence of God.

Grateful for all God has and continues to teach as He makes us the most like Christ. Grateful for family and friends who are family, for the beauty in each day, and for the hope of heaven