Let Love Guide

And Mary said, ‘My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for He has looked with favor on the lowliness of His servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is His name. His mercy is for those who fear Him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with His arm; He has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; He has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty. He has helped His servant Israel, in remembrance of His mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.’ Luke 1:46–55 God’s heart is to rescue, then lift up the poor and oppressed. His mercy is for those who fear Him; He lifts up the lowly; He fills the hungry with good things, and keeps His promises. Where do you see yourself in Mary’s song? Mary’s song ...

In earthly time, it's been two months. For you, it hasn't even been seconds. You are radiant, whole, beautiful, at peace, reunited, and most amazingly, fully connected to God. Here on earth we carry on, but feel the void where your life once lived. As much as I tried to delay, grief came calling. I kept pushing it back, trying to get all the things completed before feeling. But that's not how God wired us - wired me. So I feel all the feelings - at times gutted, overwhelmed, ready for my own heavenly reuniting. Yet, in the midst, there are tiny joys and rest swirled in with paperwork, anxiety and waiting. Reflecting on all God has already accomplished, I am in awe. Working on remembering - reminding myself the other to-dos that seem will never resolve will one day be victories. And in God there is only victory. In the midst of it all, He is my constant, my - continual peace - sufficiency - hope - strength - song Teach me to trust you all the more, even here, even now, even...

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" This verse was prayed by mama every night. In the last days, she felt Him holding her. God answered our every prayer. I’m still reflecting on all God has done. Even in grief, His goodness is unfailing. The years of suffering produced peace, deeper trust, stillness, and abiding. The night mama went on hospice, I had a vision. God played back all the events from the last few years. As the Lord played back all the suffering, I was overcome with gratitude. All these events trained and prepared me for the months to follow. The lessons God taught allowed me to walk alongside mama in the way of the Lord. I testified to the heart and character of God, while empathizing with the deep suffering and battle she was enduring. And, God gave me so many Barnabas' to encourage along the way - family, friends, church family, and two amazing live-in nurses, Denise and Ca...

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. Friday March 18 my mom made the brave decision to lay down her battle with cancer and agreed to hospice. Though her spirit to fight is as strong as ever, her body is no longer cooperating. She isn’t dying. She’s living at a slower pace. She still gets up every day, goes to the kitchen table for breakfast, writes in her diary, pays bills. Living slowly has many joys and beautiful moments. It’s also weary work - in the service and the waiting and the mundane and the holy. God has blessed us with two amazing angel nurses - Neesie and Carla - who are now forever family. They are alternately living with us and joining in the holy work of serving mama. I feel myself taking so many Mary photos; taking in each moment and storing it away in my heart to ponder. Late night talks about heaven; Mama at the piano Sunday playing and singing hymns. The morning she sang Sandy Pattis “We Shall Behold ...

Merry Christmastide! Wanted to share the miracle chemo has reduced mama's cancer by 50%. All praise to God. Trusting Him for many more miracles now, and in the days to come. 2021 year brought more suffering, uncertainty, grief and surrender than we could ever have imagined. We had no way of knowing the journey our family would take - which was God's mercy. Knowing the whole story would have been too much. I'm not one for resolutions - and honestly - this year taught me God's plans and ways WILL happen, so - for me - it's better to surrender and trust. In 2022 may our family remember God's faithfulness, His love and mercy, and the truth we are hidden in the shadow of His wings. We receive and fully accept the story He is writing and pray my only response will be, "I am the servant of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word." my New Year prayer from Every Moment Holy You came to us, O Lord, as a lantern in our darkness. Now illumine our way...

I am so grateful for beautiful life (and that my birthday falls within Advent). The candles of HOPE and PEACE are now lit, on the wreath, and in my heart. The lectionary had an obscure (not-seemingly-super-Adventy) scripture from Luke 21:25-33 (AMP) the first Sunday. The sky is literally falling, but God, in holy mystery, reminds the end isn't the end. The Return of Christ: “There will be signs (attesting miracles) in the sun and moon and stars; and on the earth [there will be] distress and anguish among nations, in perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea and the waves, people fainting from fear and expectation of the [dreadful] things coming on the world; for the [very] powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with [transcendent, overwhelming] power [subduing the nations] and with great glory. Now when these things begin to occur, stand tall and lift up your heads [in joy], because [suffering ends as] your redemption is dra...

Got to celebrate my favorite November birthdays. Mama turned 70 Saturday and we had a small family pizza party. Afterward Scott and I pulled out her Christmas decorations and added some lights and festiveness to the home. Tuesday we celebrated the love of my life - Scott. We enjoyed dinner and showering him with gifts. This week we also got to gather as a family to celebrate Elijah's HS graduation ceremony at Lanier Tech (postponed twice due to COVID). Monday's ceremony was so glorious and inspirational. There were mothers and daughters, brothers and sisters, old and young who walked the stage. The mayor of Auburn spoke and her life story took my breath away. She is the epitome of "But God ..." She spoke with Elijah afterward and encouraged him in his next steps. We continue to see and feel God's hand in every moment of our story. A devotion I read said the purpose of every test is to take us higher. While it's hard to be continually pressed and refined, love ...