Letting Go of Expectations

 

Working to let go of . . . anxiety, expectation, fear.

I haven't prepared (AT ALL) to not receive chemo tomorrow. Too fearful to hope - to expect. Instead, focused on how God is in each of our moments. He knows the plans and they are best. My prayer is only to be held as His plan unfolds. Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

For now, I retreat into the boat, to sail close to God's heart. He is big enough and loves enough to hold our fears. So grateful Jesus modeled retreating to the Father. I feel Him near in my cries and tears - a participation in the life of Christ so holy and precious. If I have strength, it's from the Lord. If I have joy, it's from the Lord. All I am is because of God and God alone. Just as God sustained His beloved, He will sustain us.

Darkness won't have the last word. Even in the grief, we work to bring justice to the world, to bring help in crisis, but we also work for beauty, laughter, and levity for sheer pleasure. We write, paint, quilt, cook, act, laugh. All these kinds of work participate in God's mending of a world unraveled. Until all is restored. Grateful for the nearness of God, for our family and friends who are family, for the beauty in each day, and for the hope of heaven

Claiming this song by Pat Barrett + Ben Smith, Canvas + Clay

In my mother's womb

You formed me with

Your hands

Known and loved by You

Before I took a breath

When I doubt it,

Lord, remind me I'm wonderfully made

You're an artist and a potter

I'm the canvas and the clay

You make all things work together

For my future and for my good

You make all things work together

For Your glory and for Your name

There's a healing light

Just beyond the clouds

Though I've walked through fire

I see clearly now

I know nothing has been wasted

No failure or mistake

You're an artist and a potter

I'm the canvas and the clay